it's been a tough week and Alhamdulillah I still survive but I'm not satisfied with my effort yet. It seems I haven't give my 100% potential and worst scenario I have a massive homesick.
It's a been a while since I left home, not left for good but left to further my dream. I know Allah have a better plan for me but I can't lie myself how much I love to have my parents company. It's not being clingy or any but I enjoyed sharing my day with them, make decisions together and spend all the quality time perfectly. Yeah, either I want it or not I have to admit the nature of life, they're getting old and yes I want to spend all my heart and soul totally with them.
I'm not being childish but deep inside I know they can feel I'm growing up and one fine day I'm gonna be literally detached from them by married to a guy and start my own family. It's not easy but that's the price of life, but I'm glad day by day we get closer more and more. The best feeling in the world when you get to interact everyday with your parents and keep them closer to your heart. I love the way they make me feel special and I enjoy their compliment. I have heard from some friends when they said to me "If you wanna see the real pain of life see your parents faces while their sleeping. That's the time you can see the truth and you will feel how life have changed you up." There's a time I make an effort to spare some nights with them and only Allah's know how guilty I am for behaving bad towards them before. I know I can't turn back time but I know I can ask from Allah and pray nothing but the best for them.
"Remember there's a time we grown up and we will find our own soul-mate that complete our day better but remind yourself about your parents too. They are getting old and they need our attention too. Never priorities your partner beyond Allah and your parents, make your partner be after them. Insyallah you will have a barakah's life, because Jannah's is in your mum's feet not on your partner until she's married then it change to husband. Don't get me wrong, I don't put any point saying that having partner is wrong because it's nature of life but put Allah and your parents first. Allah always with you when everyone left you alone and parents always there to give you the best they could and love you unconditionally since the first day you were welcome to this world. Spare some time with them, like you finding an effort for your partner, cherished every moment with joy because where never you make them happy with smile on their face Allah will rewards you with 'pahala', be there for them because either you remember or not when you were little they always there for you, knee down and pray to Allah for them because they always ask the best for you, don't be stingy on spending to them because remember when you still living with them every wants and needs they try to fulfill by sacrifice their owns and served your parents while they still alive because you will never have another parents once they are gone to meet Allah forever."
5th November 2011- Tanjung Tuan Beach Resort, Port Dickson
For my beloved parents- have a safe journey to cherished your 24th anniversary to Uzbekistan honeymoon. May you always be in Allah's care, take care and enjoy your holiday. I love you always and hope to hear from you both soon.
Till we meet again Insyallah,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.
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