Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Source; Google image.

What makes a lady beautiful?
In my own ideology by referring to "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"; is when she knows how to behave herself well in the public, she covers her aurat properly, she loves Allah more than anything, she devoted herself to the parents/husband/family and take care of them without any doubt in her heart, she know how to calm herself when obligation appear in her life and she believe in herself capability by achieving her ultimate dreams.


Till then we meet again Insyallah,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Quotes of Wisdom, Day 4.

"Whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah will provide him a better thing.(Ahmad)" [DawahDaily]

Fix you, when everything turns haywire.

Expectations, words that either will lift you up or pull you lower to the ground. Higher than reality dreamer than hopes. Keep breathing and stay calm if that will make you feel okay. Struggling are part of growing up and people keep come and go living you all alone finding way to keep standing. Seeing your feet on the ground ain't enough to guarantee you better life. Work harder and push yourself to the limits. It's ain't easy but nor impossible. Fix may turn good but wrong decision will lead to confusion. Inhale all the pain and exhale all the happiness.
There's a time when I almost express the word quit, all I see are my parents faces with full of hopes and smiling.  How I wish I'm just 5 and all my cares were where did I put my crayons last night. Sometimes I envy my little sister, how wonderful life around her. Imagination, happiness and laughter. Not saying my life were dark and gloomy but my main idea were being adult never been easy. It needs courage, commitment and passion to go to the phase of life you always wanted. Big obligation will always there to test you till at one point you were gasping hardly to keep survive. The stronger you got, the higher test you will receive, and yes that is Allah promise. Allah will always testing us, because He knows our ability to handle our problems.
It's hard to admit that it does not bother you when you also still searching the right path of life.
Some judge me as self-centered brat, not complain but that makes me as me. I was born as the only child till I'm 18 when my sister come in to spice up our little family. I have all the attention from the family especially the parents. I always be the dream girl princess, where I have all the comfort in life. Been the target to perform the best and people put high expectation on me. I always experimental with all kinds just to make sure I deserve nothing but the best in life. Yeah, thanks Allah for giving me the opputurnity that not everyone can experience it.
Eventually, there's some community doesn't realize I'm still a human inside. Where I need to breathe, to stand for my thoughts and speak up what is inside my mind. I don't blame them, I was grown up in a society where everyone frame you based on your education level, being acceptable in social life, good reputation job, awesome pay for living and amazing image for self branding.
There's where I turn to be optimistic, I assume everyone is the best and everyone should give their very best shot in life. Not judging, but my dad always said this words to me "I don't care how you do it, but I know you have to do it. You must be the best among the best". It's pretty bold words that keep driving me to push myself to the limit, so I won't feel guilty if I fail. I have given my very best, and Allah knows my effort towards it. Back to the expectation, my whole life people wants me to success and have a good life. I don't have any doubt on that expectations but I have doubt about the way I need to achieve it.
 In my big family I'm the best SPM achievers at the moment which I prayed someone will break the record so I can breathe normally again. Then comes to tertiary education, the highest were Master's in Economic research by my cousin Faidz.  Now I'm doing double degree which no one in the family have done yet so now the expectations nerve hit me again, and worst. Pushing me to the Master's level, so I will be slightly higher than my parents education. Not to challenge them but as self-achievement to boost other to do better in their education. I still need to think about it deeply, I don't want to fulfill it just because to fit in but I wanna do it for the sake of Allah that believe in my capability.

Source; Youtube, Fix You by Coldplay

Don't pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a hard one. 

"Ya Allah, I need your help to keep the strength in me. I need you to guide me in the right way so I won't have any doubt about it in future. I'm not only searching for the world satisfaction but I also want to be filled well for afterlife. World are just pit-stop but afterlife are forever. Keep me in a good track and lead me for better Muslimah. I know you have a good plan on me, so help me to decide what's the best for me, Insyallah".


Till we meet again Insyallah,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Wordless Wednesday, 2.

19 November 2011, Kelana Jaya. Wedding Dani's sister.

Never let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part who you will become. (The PsychoIogist)

Between du'a and prayer.

Alhamdulillah, life getting better when I organize everything well. Not saying, I have no pressure but till now I manage to handle it well enough. I have lot's of reading to catch up and there's a time I wish I have more than 24hours so I can spare a lot of time with Allah. I feel calm everytime I shared with Allah, it's indescribably feeling that soothing me inside.
How I wish I know the benefit of it long ago, Masyallah luckily it's not too late for me to discover it.I feel guilty by showing my aurat, by taking my solat lightly and other things. I know how my ignorant about Islam have lead me so badly. I'm being selfish by only care to be the best now without caring about afterlife that lead forever. Ya Allah, I wish I can turn back all those time and lead myself for a better way. All those crazy stuff I did really make me feel bad not just to me but towards my parents. It burst me into tears for a girl that grown up in Islamic path, slightly been away from it just because wanna fit in with the society until she forget about her rules and beliefs. I feel sorry especially to my dad since his the one that have to take all my action and consequences of all my bad behavior.
The beauty about Islam, there's never too late for a good change. Now I wake up with a faith and everything I do seems simple when I thought it might crack me apart. Supportive parents, family and friends really do help me a lot. Du'a give me strength and prayer get me stronger, but I'm still a learner. Which I know I have long way to learn and still a beginner. Insyallah, I will push myself and improve for better.

Sources; Google image

Insyallah we will meet again,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Quotes of Wisdom, Day 3.

Keep praying for what you want, impossibility and possibility are merely concepts of your mind. To Allah nothing is impossible. (DawahDaily)

Love and devotion.

Widely awake, and energetic. Sadly have no mood for assignment nor study. Feels like so unproductive today, wasted the weekend to the drain. Push myself too much till migraine attack. But Alhamdulillah, at least I know I'm on the right track, just need to hold on stronger outside and on the inside. Feel calm by starting the day sharing thoughts with parents. They simply the best and totally amaze me. Thank you Allah for all this great life, I can't do it without you.
Today someone ask me, why I'm still single when all my best-friends are currently happy with their partner. Simple answer, everyone have their own written "jodoh" just my time haven't come yet. Plus I want to repair, prepare and enhance myself to be a good Muslim lady that not only can guide myself but also people around me. I still have a lot of weakness to cover in order to be better in future. Not showing off or any other intention but I just want to prepare myself to be a good servant for Allah before I can be with someone (which means nikah here) and have a life together.
I wannabe the lady that will help the husband and the family for being a better Muslim. Together we both find the beautiful life in Islam, Insyallah. I'm not trying to point any contradict point here but I feel peaceful when I'm single. I have all my focus for Allah and at the same time I save all my devotion, love, respect, and kindness to my future husband that literally halal for me once we were together till the afterlife. I admit I do make mistake in past, but honestly I'm trying to learn from it. I'm not perfect, but I will do my very best to serve better and this time Insyallah I'm trying to keep my determination on it. I believe Allah have a better plan for me, one fine day the BIG DAY will come. Just keep praying and never ever give up.
Mama always said to me "Good guy are made for good girl, and Allah is always fair. You just have to be patient and never loose faith with Allah. When everything doesn't seem easy, knee down and confront with Allah. Share with Allah, because Allah never tired to listen from us. Plus, Allah never leave so make time for Him if you are too busy to ask from Him."

Source: Google image.

Honestly, I can't wait to meet a guy that can be my Imam. That can be the caliph to me and my family, strongly together till Jannah. I hope I already answer the question clearly why I'm still single by now. I don't hate or having any problem with relationship but I just wanna do it in the right way. The way that will be blessed by Allah (nikaah) and no doubt that will lead into sins-full action.

Insyallah we will meet again,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Focus and effort.

It's a tough bumpy road for these few days. Trying to holding on and keep breathing.
Emotional instability and workload catching. Insyallah, I can get through all this and will do my very best for it.

Assignments waiting, it's few but need all the focus and effort. Have to be completed before 4th of April 2012. Let's rock it with style everyone.
2 more weeks for Kuala Lumpur, short break for tuition free-week.

13 November 2011, Holiday Villa Cherating, Pahang.

The picture was taken at Nelayan Village in Kemaman, Terangganu.

Keep praying, don't loose any faith.
Keep believing, don't loose any hope.
Keep standing, don't quit halfway.

Insyallah we will meet again,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Quotes of Wisdom, Day 3.

“Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” (Qur’an 9:40) (Hadith of The Day)

Wordless Wednesday, 1.

19 December 2010, Le Village Resort Kuantan, Pahang.

"Sometimes you just need that one person who will talk and ramble, listen to your complain and act like an idiot, but still love you at the same." (Unknown)

Quotes of Wisdom, Day 2.

"Don't let anyone's ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you from being the best person you can be." (Stunning Hijabs)

Coffee and books.

Me and Aja Fauzi

17 June 2011- Kelantan

No class today, pheww good thing right? But sadly no productive at all. Yes I repeat NO at all. Being lazy but clouded in the head with so much stuff. Out of the topic for today, I just wanna scream out I miss reading. Yes, good material that enhance my knowledge and at the same time help me to recover all my boredism factor.
Let's do some official essay about reading. Start with the thesis statement, reading will help the brain to absorb more knowledge that will boost the readers to understand better depending on what type reading material that person reads. Obviously, if you read porno stuff the only thing you gain will be "The right skill of Kamasutra" which in my own opinion have no literally use for daily life information. I love the way my parents treat me, since I was a kid they don't really encourage me to watch television a lot since on that time computer were too expensive compare to now but they support me by reading. As I can recall, since I was 3years old they push me to read all kind of materials with different author to make me think out of the box. Sound pretty cool, but I don't use the advantage wisely so I end up loosing myself for a while when I was a teen before getting back on my feet again. I have few authors that caught my attention and mostly are chic-flick novels author such as Cecilia Ahern, Nicholas Sparks, Jean Echenoz and others. Ironically if you ask me, what will be my favorite book to kill the time and I will definitely say without any doubt; "The Chicken Soup for The Soul" by Jack Canfield. I love real stories with real people and when the actually reveal their own experience. It's quite amusing for me to put my imagination on their experience and at the same time to feel the same shoes their wearing. My most favorite Chicken Soup collection would probably the Father and Daughter collection when I imagine myself the bond between the father and me and I cried hard every page I read it. It's remind me the strong bond between me and my dad that can't live with each other but too ego to admit it. Hehe, yeah I'm kind of girl that have been treated like boys in my young age and have a huge ego like a man. So where-never I have to discuss anything with my dad, my mum have to be in that room to avoid headbanging towards each other. LOL it's exaggerated people, obviously it won't be to that extend.
My point today, is to encouraged people to start reading. Read the good quality books that you will earn something good at the end of it. Much better if you can share them to others and make it as a good example for better life. Sound's so motivational but hopefully it boost you to make at least a small move on reading.

source: Google image.

Insyallah we will meet again,

Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Monday Blues.

Phuket trip: 12 February 2012 till 16 February 2012

"The reason why I wake up with a smile every morning; my dearest parents. Alhamdulillah, I'm faithful with the life I have and I'm blessed with unconditional love from them."

Reminiscing the memory lane.

"You make wanna love, you make me wanna fall, you make me wanna surrender my soul"

I'm turning 23 this years, it's a pretty big number at least for me. But it's still long way to go, and lot's of thing to be catch up in order to discover what life really mean. Have you ever cross when some songs that been played in your iPod reflect to how old you are specifically when the songs were currently blooming. It's not a bad feeling, but it's like a slap on your face how far you've been. I was grown up listening to Britney Spears, BLUE, 911, N'sync and lot's more to go. Yeah basically I'm a 90's babies. The time when were all the band-boy really hit the charts and Britney just started her career.

There's one song really captured my attention, since I keep replayed the song again and again. It's a song called "U Make Me Wanna" by BLUE and if I'm not mistaken this song were on hit in early 2000 or somewhere around that. Sorry for the lack of information on that but that it's not I wanna share about. I wanna share about how songs really make a huge impact on me.

Listening to this song, reminds me on what I have been through. The upside down, the lost identity, the confused about future and last but not least boys. Boys? Sound like quite number right? But nah, I'm not that kind of girl having a collection numbers of boyfriends while in high-school. I'm kinda nerd back then plus I'm don't really know how to dress up well. 

Back in high-school, I don't really have much guy friends compare to now since I was in girls school and my parents were pretty strict on that time. But things change when I get to know this guy, we become bestfriend and after high-school we declared as couple. It's actually my rules not to declare anything while I'm still stuck with SPM nightmare.So he waited, till we finally breathe out from SPM and the declaration become open. I know, it's funny since it's a "puppy love" on that time.

Amazingly this "puppy love" really change my perspective about love, boys, and life. Yeah, we been holding on together for quite some years till it become serious after we entered college life. Sometimes, what we expect may turn out badly from the way we always wanted. After log years having each other, we finally end it in harsh way which really effects me mentally and emotionally. I never thought broken heart will lead me this bad and affect all the good part of life on that time. Pretty stupid, but I still remember someone said to me "the first cut always the deepest" and I'm totally agreed with that quotes.

After all years backing up, and fight for my future I'm back on track but this "puppy love" drama have traumatized me. Maybe for some people it may be bad way but for me I took it as a good positive side to be a better person. I don't avoiding boys or hating relationship till that extends but I learn to preserved my heart for the one that really deserved to have it, which I gradually named the lucky guy as husband. LOL

I know, it's sound too fantasy but I'm kind of girl that believe in fairy-tales and true love. As time goes by, I learn a lot about relationship, about people come and go, life drama and sort of. Lemme crack your head easily, I'm 23 and still single. It's my choice and I'm proud of it. I preserved my heart just to love my husband. As for husband here, I mean as a guy that can lead me to Jannah, love me and our future kids with all his heart, be my kids and me caliph to Allah's pleasure, be a good Imam to the family, wonderful leader and help each other to be a better servants for Allah. He doesn't have to be perfect, and there's no perfectionist except Allah Taala'.

I hope I'm not asking too much because I believe "good man are created for good woman". I understand, I have done some sins back in the past and I know I still lack of knowledge in Islam but Insyallah with Allah's will I'm willing to learn to be a better Muslim.

*p/s: I'm sorry I can't recall the source of this du'a

Insyallah we will meet again,

Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Quotes of Wisdom, Day 1.

Who can be a greater wastrel than a man whom even learning has not been able to keep away from sin and depravity. [Imam Abu Hanifah]

Bonding time.

Today I have quite interesting topic with my bestfriend, Nadhirah Naaim. It's about babies name, yes everyone let me repeat again babies name. It's irony until some level we both just realize how far we've gone through and what changes life have made to us. We're not the crazy teenage, which still confuse about ourself and trying to try everything to satisfy the teenage hormones. Yes, we grew up in perfect shape.
As everyone knows between me and her we are just two different entity that sharing the same souls. Means whatever in my head, will straightly reconcile on her without using Bluetooth devices. Okay that's exaggerated, but seriously life pretty amusing when we just accidentally bond into the same sense. It's like magic.
So we come out with our perfect babies name for the girl and boy together with the beautiful meaning, and we start making agreement when each of us have to be our godmother's babies in case something happen to one of us. Yeah, way too long to the future. So she came out with pretty sexy names; as for the girl she choose Sophia Imaan and as for the boy it would be Aryan Imaan. As for me, I prefer something modern but have some Arabic touch on my babies name. Too bad, I won't reveal mine here, have to wait till I literally gave birth one fine day. Insyallah, so before I end my crappy thoughts I post up a picture of me and her on my last year belated celebration in Whisk, Empire Subang Gallery.

19 November 2011

Quote of the day:

"Follow your heart. Regardless of what others tell you to do, it’s how you feel at the end of the day that matters."

Insyallah, we will meet again,

Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Stereotype and reality.

One of my favorite picture of my little monster; Aisy Umairah

11 November 2011- Tanjung Tuan Resort, Port Dickson.

There's time I feel I wannabe kids again, when no one care about what you wear, you can be friends with anyone and everything in your mind seems pretty happy. I'm not saying I'm afraid of growing up, honestly some part of it can turn into pretty fun but some part of it almost fall me apart. Admit it everyone, being in kindergarten are much more happier than surviving university life. Stop fidgeting, agree those facts when you are freely to be yourself and no society push you away in order to fit in. Being unique is pretty awesome, but truth's hurt since not everyone are strong enough to stand up and raise their voice in public.
Stereotype turn into nonsense, and it become cruel till at one point it burst like a virus affecting the innocent. Violent become jokes and judgmental become ideology. There's a phrase by I can't remember whose quote it is but I clearly remember the quote "when life pushes you too much and you were struggle enough just to fit in, stop everything and just be yourself. Be uniqueness are much value than money". Somehow I agreed with does words, when I admit there's a path in life I push myself too hard just to fit in till I loose grip of myself which kinda unhealthy.
But everytime I feel weak, I remember this words and put a smile again.

source: Road To Jannah

Insyallah we will meet again,

Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Motherhood

Mother, a woman that bring us to this world. I know it sounds pretty cliche but I love the bond between me and my mother, who I prefer call as "mama". It sound more sweet to me and bonding time never turn me down.
I'm faithful to have such a wonderful lady like her. She's strong, religious and good listener. What I love about her, her ultimate patient. Which I can described as amazing, since I always wish I would have that intensity to handle me, my dad and also other life to be care of. I love the way he makes every details from blunt to special a very special touch then she lead it into most beautiful things you ever had.

mama and me
11 February 2012- Bangsar office.

"I know I'm not the best daughter in the world, but deep inside I appreciate you have done to me. I know I'm not always be in my best behavior but deep inside I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you always and forever. Thank you for being there when everyone left and thank you for lifting me up everytime I fall. I wish you pure happiness now and afterlife. You deserve nothing but the best." 


Insyallah we will meet again,
Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.

Simple hello.

Every move start with first start and every start will significance to make a mark on others. Typical much for a brief, I know but this time I wanna keep things simple and pure. Alhamdulillah my journey to find my entity sailing smoothly even there's upside down sometimes. Life pretty amazing and everyone's doing good.

Hello 2nd year, I'm glad we meet in peace even there's some obligation occur at first but manage to overcome it. Yeah, keep calm and trust Allah. Study material getting tougher and my maturity level increase better bit by bit.

I don't want to elaborate much about my previous blog, just keep it as nice memory and private. Lately, lot's of thing going through rashly on my surrounding but I believe Allah have better plan for in future.I manage to keep hold on strong and smiling firmly on my feet. 

So let's start by this first post with a warm simple hello and be grateful with wonderful life around us.

source: Google image

Insyallah we will meet again,

Ain Afiqah Ab Rahman.